changing with the leaves
i quit my job / the moon is waning / my saturn return is well underway
Dear reader,
Happy last few days of Libra season ✨⚖️ It’s been an eventful one for me, busy with wedding planning (and wedding-attending, celebrating some dear friends!), a metric ton of book events, birthdays for me and my love, and a big career decision. I quit my job on Thursday, coincidentally under the Aries full moon, and accepted a new, exciting position. I don’t religiously keep track of moon cycles or astrological transits, but it does feel auspicious to be starting a new chapter at a moment when the moon is beginning a new cycle around the zodiac, full and bright and ushering in clarity.
I’ve been really, really tired for a really long time. This is my own doing in part because of my penchant for overcommitting and overextending, for being clinically incapable of not giving everything my all, regardless of what I’m getting back. But I’ve also been in denial about how some external circumstances in my life have backed me into a corner, and how accustomed I’d become over the course of this year to struggling, to everything that should be simple feeling impossible. I’ve known for a while that something needed to change, but I had to more or less work my way through the stages of grief before I was truly ready to accept it. And as my higher power is wont to do, the next right opportunity dropped into my lap just as I became open to it.
Fall is bittersweet. I mourn the loss of sunlight as I delight in the crisp, chilly air. I’ve been afraid to say goodbye to this chapter of my life, because the past three years have brought me so much joy and opportunity. But now I’m in a moment of harvest, reaping what I’ve sown, and what I’ve sown turns out to be new and deepened friendships, professional recognition and growth, and creative footholds to cling to as I crawl my way back to myself after a period of burnout. I’m also in the thick of my Saturn return, an astrological transit occurring roughly every 29 years associated with self-reflection and transformation, especially in the areas of career, responsibilities, and our big-picture “calling.”
Over the next two weeks, as the moon wanes, I’ll be wrapping up this chapter of my life and starting the next one, with my last day at this job falling on the new moon in Scorpio, a powerful time for intention setting towards new beginnings. Maybe you think astrology is bullshit, but I don’t know—I’m feeling pretty cosmically aligned right now.
I hope fall is bringing you change in all the best ways, even if it’s scary or uncomfortable. Here’s to the best of new beginnings ✨
Sending snail mail to you all is a ritual that keeps me sane during insane times. If you’d like reflections on creative practice and goodies in your mailbox every month, consider becoming a paid subscriber. I currently donate 20% of proceeds to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund.
In my opinion, sitting at a restaurant bar with a good book for a solo dinner date is one of life’s greatest pleasures. I’ve been trying to do it more often. There is something so magical about quality alone time, savoring the little luxuries of a happy hour drink and good food, reading without the distraction of all the chores to be done at home, being buoyed by the energy and presence of other people, feeling part of the world.
Workshops 4 Gaza is a collective of writers, artists, and educators organizing classes to benefit Palestinians in Gaza. There are a number of workshops coming up in the next few weeks, including “Writing the Workplace” on October 30, taught by the wonderful Kyle Lucia Wu.
Applications for the Tables of Contents regenerative residency are open now. Everything TOC is such a dream!!! I don’t think I have quite the right project up my sleeve for this at the moment, but if you do, please apply so I can live vicariously through your three weeks in a cottage on a farm writing and thinking at the intersections of food, literature, and art (and surely eating really well while you’re at it).
My friend Emily Hager, an amazing acupuncturist and yoga teacher, is offering a sliding scale restorative yoga class on Zoom every Friday beginning in November. I’m looking forward to creating a slow morning routine getting back into my body with this!
I loved Ann Patchett’s essay about regretting email. She quotes Niall Williams’ This Is Happiness: “Beneath the pinholed heaven, the night was God-dimensioned and monumental before electric light.” and writes: “I know what he means, and I miss that darkness, the feeling of a wide expanse of empty time in which to wander.” When’s the last time I felt like that?
That’s it for me this week. See you in the real world ❣️
🌱 Nadine
